Feeling ostrich, lucky or unfortunate?

Feeling “ostrich”, lucky or unfortunate?

The so-called ostrich marriage philosophy is to deliberately or unintentionally ignore the problem of unfaithfulness of the partner and bury one’s own “happy life”.

  Many questionnaires don’t count as problems, once there are comparisons, there are differences.
Recently, Liu Tianwang’s marriage rumours have been circulating. Many people’s first reaction is that he is finally married.
And under this wedding news, the future “King of Kings” will be more concerned-she has been a hidden girlfriend for 24 years behind a star!
Fortunately, she waited, and all these years, Liu Tianwang’s gossip girlfriend passed around, this one, no branch.
In this regard, it seems that they are happier than those wives who have been busy helping their husbands to clarify and issue a declaration of trust despite having entered the room early, got their name right or married a wealthy man.
Because she only needs to keep silent, and does not need to learn to be an emotional ostrich.
  Ostrich’s marriage philosophy, therefore revisited.
It happened to be the first marriage climax after the year, and even marriage websites and wedding exchange forums joined the battle group, and newcomers who were preparing to get married or old people who faced itching for N years were talking about it.
It is said that when the sandstorm came, the ostrich buried its head in the dunes, waiting for the sandstorm to pass. They lived as usual in the past, as if the sandstorm had not come.
The so-called ostrich marriage philosophy is to deliberately or unintentionally ignore the problem of unfaithfulness of the partner and bury one’s own “happy life”.
  Seduction is everywhere, and it’s not surprising that partners are derailed. Strangely, in the face of partner derailment, more and more women choose to be “ostriches.”
Leaving aside the traditional view that men and women are inferior, at the end of last year, psychologist Dr. Zhang Yichen’s EQ Studio collaborated with a number of large dating sites to launch the 2008 Survey of Marriage Views of Single Men and Women. Data show that men are more concerned about sexual derailment than women.
If sexual derailment occurs during the relationship, 70% of the interviewees cannot accept it, and men cannot tolerate derailment than women.
So much attention during love, let alone the couple in marriage.
But when “ostrich”, can marriage be maintained?
Are they lucky in the future?
During the interview, the reporter found that in fact, making an “ostrich” can not be concealed with the word “escape”, they also thought about it after thinking about it.
Hu Shenzhi, a marriage psychologist at Sunflower Psychological Counseling Center, also pointed out that even when he is an ostrich, there are successes and failures.
  Everyone knows, but she does n’t know?
  A friend returned home to visit relatives and was surprised at the marriage of a neighbor woman in the country.
The story is just a very traditional drama: the husband is in business, the family of Xiao Fu, has been married for several years, and has a daughter. The husband is often busy doing business outside the home and rarely goes home. However, this woman has always felt that her marriage is happy and happy, and she gets along with relatives and friendsDon’t forget to take care of her husband.
In fact, even this friend who happened to return home knows that her husband already has another home outside, and at the same time gave birth to a child, but only behaves relatively low-key.
She didn’t seem to know, and everyone wouldn’t start in front of her.
Ten years later, such a marriage is still alive.
A friend said: What people on earth know, how can she be kept in the drum for so many years?
  I never knew, would it be better than the last one?
Aling knew her husband in business when she was in college. After working for two years after graduation, she naturally married and had children.
Love and marriage are smooth, but not admired by classmates and friends. Good friends even repeatedly reminded her: “So fast?
Would you like to take a closer look at this person?
It turned out that while Ling’s husband was still a boyfriend, it was discovered by Ling’s friends that he was prostituting outside. Because of the relationship between his friends and Ling’s despair, the friend couldn’t say clearly.
When Aling was at home to give birth, the incident finally came out, and Aling asked her friends to cry, but found that none of them was surprised. After careful inquiry, she knew that she was the last person to know.
Aling reunited for a round, she said, “I really felt very crumbled at the time, but I blame myself for being too late to know it.”
“Wu Hushen’s comment: In fact, the parties are not unable to know, but they do not want to know.
Because she does not want to accept the fact that her husband is derailed, if she is to face the fact that her husband is derailed, she may face a series of frustrations such as loss of self-worth and abandonment.Refuse to know.
Their most common excuses are “he loves me very much” and “he is too busy at work, but he is also busy making money to support his family.”
  Measure again and again to give each other a chance to beat each other from graduation. When Xiaoye is away from work, he pats and slaps up at most. In a blink of an eye, he becomes the “leftover girl” of Ben San, and starts to get nervous about lifelong events.
My parents arranged for a blind date, a friend introduced by a friend, and it took no one year’s effort to find a pretty good man before the frustration of the previous relationship had recovered.The man also went through multiple rounds of blind dates, claiming to fall in love with her at first sight, and mature and steady pursuit of style, so much Ye Xiaoxin, so he became her husband in less than six months.

In the financial tsunami, Xiao Yeye was unfortunately laid off and worked as a housewife full-time at home. Only then began to discover the problem: the civil servant’s husband cleared from work at 6 o’clock and traveled to his doorstep. The journey took less than ten minutes and did not pass through the traffic jam.It takes about 8 o’clock every other day or two to arrive home, and often sleeps on the sofa after arriving home.

Xiaoye suddenly became suspicious and searched. Her husband couldn’t help but confessed: The so-called affair, even before the two met each other, just realized that the family environment of the two was different and broke up.

  When I first knew it, Xiaoye was sad and sad. The advice given to her in the circle of friends was that the two parties “separated” and “beared” could not agree.

Considering that she is not too young, and her husband ‘s conditions are good in all aspects, and that they were married at the beginning, they are not without feelings . It should be repeated, she still decided to give her husband and herself one more opportunity, but only the husband must clean up withThe relationship of the old lover, and she also reminded her husband: in his career, having an affair is not a glorious sum.

  Hu Shenzhi’s comment: intimate relationship + social relationship + legal relationship = marriage relationship.

Marriage is indeed more complicated than a love relationship.

Leaflet belongs to the conscious “ostrich”. She knows her own, knows her own value, adapts to social development, and chooses to be tolerant in order to maintain her family. She has a high tolerance and has a bottom line, and can use other methods to repair psychological angerResentment is a great “ostrich”.

  Marriage crisis is actually a psychological crisis. The emotions and behaviors experienced will be greatly changed. Most people can recover in February, and then they will have the choice of divorce or tolerance and continue their lives.

But some people ca n’t recover over 2-3 years. They have been immersed in complaints and angry emotions. The more angry the person is, the more injured he is. The new injury may have touched the old one.calm.

You can think of different ways to dissatisfaction, and then tolerate, is a smart attitude, the biggest problem is that there is no principle of patience.

Tolerance and patience are very different attitudes. The former is relieved and it is pain itself.

  ”Unexpected” is not accepted, but “Don’t let me know” There is often a gray area between black and white.

The gray area between derailment and no derailment is “accidental derailment”.

  After working as a marketing staffer, Jerry once found that she had a relationship with a nightclub to accompany a wine girl the next day.

He was always in blame, thinking of his wife’s tolerance, and felt that explaining to his wife would be forgiven. As a result, his wife reluctantly said that he would forgive him, but his enthusiasm was greatly diminished.

Sometimes when quarreling, my wife complains: Why tell me?

I would rather not know!

The crack was still in the hearts of the two.

  Real-name truth-telling games circulating on the Internet, questions like “What to do if your partner is drunk and derailed” are appearing more and more frequently. The answers cannot clearly express their position, and they are more likely to avoid: “Then you better notlet me know.

“All because of the” accidental derailment “usually argue: I am drunk and conscious, I am not the initiative, I do not want to do this . This makes the other party tangled: Humanity is drunk three minutes awake, can drunk becomeWhat about derailment?

After all, the nature of the mastermind, the accomplice, or the passive crime is different. Now there are not many people who can really agree with one another. Is it a negligence that can be ignored?

  Hu Shenzhi’s comment: Here is a question about whether the partner is derailed or not.

Some people feel that once they know it, their beliefs (marriage is also a kind of belief) are immediately overthrown and they will suddenly collapse.

Especially for those who have been abandoned, those who have been separated by brothers and sisters since their childhood, marriage is like their gorgeous clothes. If their expectations are not fulfilled, they will be as uncomfortable as being cut off.
Those who are psychologically independent will not have this fear.